One of the most advantageous things a father can do to benefit his child in the long term is to develop the ability to listen. Every child is an individual and has unique dreams and hopes for their life. We cannot assume we know what our child wants unless we are first prepared to ask them. Developing the ability to hear what your child is saying is paramount to effectively meeting their needs in life.
DEVELOPING THE ABILITY TO LISTEN-(Listening To Understand)
DEVELOPING THE ABILITY TO LISTEN
We as fathers mustn't fall into the habit of listening merely to reply, before we first listen to understand.
From the moment our wife's pregnancy has become full term and our children are born they begin to cry out in need, and as a parent, it is our job to meet those needs as best we can. Initially, the baby cries out because it is cold after being delivered and needs to be cleaned and warmed up with blankets. The next in a series of cries is often one denoting hunger, telling us that the baby now needs to be fed as it no longer receives nutrients automatically from the mother.
DEVELOPING THE ABILITY TO LISTEN- Identifying The Need
One of the challenges of being a parent is identifying what each cry is e.g. I’m tired, I’m hungry, I need my nappy changed, etc. The quicker we as a parent can identify what the need is, the quicker we can move to meet it. Our parenting goals should always include ensuring that these most basic needs are met.
Throughout your child's life, their cries for help will change as they change and mature, but our role and responsibility as their parent remains constant. Whether parenting kindergarten children or teens in high school we need to become a good listener to succeed as a father. By really listening we begin to hear on another level, and by really hearing to understand at a deeper level.
DEVELOPING THE ABILITY TO LISTEN- A Listening Ear
Often all our child needs is someone to listen and hear what they are saying, and show them loving support and encouragement. Following are some basic principles for developing an awareness of how and when to develop a listening ear:
Set aside some time each day to sit down and have a chat with your child
Make sure you arrive home ready to listen, for it is in those first few moments that your child often wants to tell you about their day
Ensure that you regularly ask them about how things are going at school and who they are friends with (This allows them to vent about frustrations they may be facing)
Show an interest in the things they are interested in, listen, observe, and interact on their level
If you miss their sporting game, make sure you follow up by asking them how they thought they and the team played (Showing your interest and support encourages them to continue pursuing an active/healthy lifestyle)
If they discuss something personal with you make sure you keep it in confidence
Follow up on your previous discussions by asking how things are progressing (This lets them know that you were listening and are interested and caring as a parent)
Get into the habit of talking to them and praying with them before they go to sleep
Ask your child what they would like to pray for tonight (this often reveals the real issues they are concerned about).
DEVELOPING THE ABILITY TO LISTEN- The Results Of Listening
Much of the relationship between a father and his child is built upon the foundations of love, trust, and communication. The things you do today, as you relate or fail to relate effectively with your child, will often determine your future relationship with them when they are adults.
DEVELOPING THE ABILITY TO LISTEN- An Opportunity For Family Life
Fathers who fail to communicate their love effectively through developing a listening ear miss an important opportunity to bond with their child at a deeper level. We should not be surprised that if we don’t listen to them when they are children, they won’t listen to us when they are adults. Fathers who develop a listening ear reap the benefits of a stronger and more fulfilling relationship with their children throughout life.
God Bless
John Nolan
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