God makes men strong in many areas of life, enabling us to protect and provide for our families effectively. However, even as strong as we are, there are still areas lacking in our humanity, which remain our Achilles Heel. If I were to identify one of the most common weaknesses of many men I have dealt with over the years, it would be our inability to deal with our emotions, which can severely hinder us in times of grief and sorrow. Handling sorrow and grief gives understanding and practical keys to help.
HANDLING SORROW AND GRIEF
HANDLING SORROW AND GRIEF- Sorrows’ Entrance Into Mankind
Sorrow and trouble have come as a direct result of the fall of man in the Garden of Eden. Before the fall of man, there was no sorrow or grief in Mankind, only the joy and peace of living in a Paradise filled with God's presence.
(Genesis 3:17-19)
Then to Adam He said, “Because you have heeded the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat of it’:
“Cursed is the ground for your sake; In toil you shall eat of it All the days of your life. Both thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you, And you shall eat the herb of the field. In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread Till you return to the ground, For out of it you were taken; For dust you are, And to dust you shall return.”
We now live in a fallen world where bad things often seem to happen to good people, it is unfortunate but true that we will all face sorrow at some time in our lives. The question is not whether we will have sorrow, but how we will handle that sorrow when it comes.
HANDLING SORROW AND GRIEF- Men Handling Grief
Many men cannot easily handle sorrow and feel overwhelmed when they suffer great loss. We as men tend to bottle up our emotions, thinking we may be perceived as weak or effeminate if we show grief, but the opposite is true. It takes great strength of character to come out from behind the facades we build around our emotions and to be real.
God Understands All
We often feel alone, and like no one can understand the things we are going through, but there is One who understands, One who knows the fullness of all we are facing. God knows the pain we go through as men, and the struggles we face as fathers. He sees all, feels all, and knows all.
(Exodus 3:7)
And the Lord said: “I have surely seen the oppression of My people who are in Egypt, and have heard their cry because of their taskmasters, for I know their sorrows.
(1 Samuel 1:15)
But Hannah answered and said, “No, my lord, I am a woman of sorrowful spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor intoxicating drink, but have poured out my soul before the Lord
HANDLING SORROW AND GRIEF- Your Sorrow And Grief Are Real
Sorrow and grief are strong emotions, they are powerful life-changing experiences. If we try to ignore them they can become like a cancer inside us, that embitters us to everything in the world and robs us of the peace and joy we long for. If we disregard these feelings, it may well be to our detriment. It may also begin or continue a cycle of not allowing life's experiences to mold us into wiser men.
Jacob's Grief
(Genesis 37:33-35)
And he recognized it and said, “It is my son’s tunic. A wild beast has devoured him. Without doubt Joseph is torn to pieces.” Then Jacob tore his clothes, put sackcloth on his waist, and mourned for his son many days. And all his sons and all his daughters arose to comfort him; but he refused to be comforted, and he said, “For I shall go down into the grave to my son in mourning.” Thus his father wept for him
We don't have to take our sorrow and grief to the grave, although the process of finding emotional stability and clarity may take some time.
HANDLING SORROW AND GRIEF- God Has Walked With Man Experiencing Our Sorrow
When Jesus Christ came into the world, He did not come as a king or a ruler who was cut off from the challenges of real life. He came as a humble carpenter, who lived and loved those around Him as we do. Before He went to the cross, he experienced the deepest sorrow ever known by man and came through ready to fulfill His destiny.
(John 11:33-36)
Therefore, when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her weeping, He groaned in the spirit and was troubled. And He said, “Where have you laid him?”
They said to Him, “Lord, come and see.”
Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, “See how He loved him!”
(Matthew 26:38-39)
Then He said to them, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me.”
He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.”
(Luke 22:41-44)
And He was withdrawn from them about a stone’s throw, and He knelt down and prayed, saying, “Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done.” Then an angel appeared to Him from heaven, strengthening Him. And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.
HANDLING SORROW AND GRIEF- The Purpose Behind Sorrow And Grief
Sometimes there is a hidden purpose or outcome that is invisible amid the storm of sorrow and grief. This purpose can be seen only after the season has passed and in the wisdom of hindsight.
The Purpose Behind Jacob's Grief Discovered
(Genesis 45:5)
But now, do not therefore be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life
Joseph was a man whose life seemed to go from bad to worse, but in the end, he realized an eternal purpose behind his path and a heavenly hand guiding and protecting him along the way. The experiences we face along life's path can be used to develop a deeper wisdom than we've known before and enable us to reach out the hand of friendship to others suffering as we have.
Comfort In Suffering
(2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God
HANDLING SORROW AND GRIEF- God's Willingness To Help Us
God is our Creator, and well able to help us if only He were willing to do so. The life, death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ are eternal proof to all mankind that God is willing to help if only we will come to Him in prayer, asking for it.
A Leper Finds Healing
(Matthew 8:2-3)
And behold, a leper came and worshiped Him, saying, “Lord, if You are willing, You can make me clean.” Then Jesus put out His hand and touched him, saying, “I am willing; be cleansed.” Immediately his leprosy was cleansed.
Jesus Christ Our High Priest
(Hebrews 4:15)
For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin
God's Response To Earnest Prayer
(2 Kings 22:19)
because your heart was tender, and you humbled yourself before the Lord when you heard what I spoke against this place and against its inhabitants, that they would become a desolation and a curse, and you tore your clothes and wept before Me, I also have heard you,” says the Lord
The Blessedness Of Walking With God
(Job 5:17-27)
“Behold, happy is the man whom God corrects; Therefore do not despise the chastening of the Almighty. For He bruises, but He binds up; He wounds, but His hands make whole. He shall deliver you in six troubles, Yes, in seven no evil shall touch you. In famine He shall redeem you from death, And in war from the power of the sword. You shall be hidden from the scourge of the tongue, And you shall not be afraid of destruction when it comes. You shall laugh at destruction and famine, And you shall not be afraid of the beasts of the earth. For you shall have a covenant with the stones of the field, And the beasts of the field shall be at peace with you. You shall know that your tent is in peace; You shall visit your dwelling and find nothing amiss. You shall also know that your descendants shall be many, And your offspring like the grass of the earth. You shall come to the grave at a full age, As a sheaf of grain ripens in its season. Behold, this we have searched out; It is true. Hear it, and know for yourself.
(2 Chronicles 15:4)
but when in their trouble they turned to the Lord God of Israel, and sought Him, He was found by them.
HANDLING SORROW AND GRIEF- God's Promise To All Who Come To Him
Prayer is the way we have contact with God, and because God is a gentleman and will not transgress man's free will, He waits until we humble ourselves and ask for His forgiveness and help. Then He can release His strength and comfort into our hearts and bring the emotional healing we desire.
(Philippians 4:6-7)
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus
(1 Peter 5:6)
Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time
(John 16:33)
These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.
HANDLING SORROW AND GRIEF- God's Answer To Man's Need
The answer to the problem of sorrow and grief is found in being able to allow God's peace to enter into your heart. He alone can take away the power of sorrow from man and replace it with the peace our heart desires.
(Revelation 21:4)
And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.
(Isaiah 35:10)
And the ransomed of the Lord shall return, And come to Zion with singing, With everlasting joy on their heads. They shall obtain joy and gladness, And sorrow and sighing shall flee away.
God alone has the power and ability to make sorrow and sighing flee away from our hearts, and to fill that space with peace and clarity beyond anything we have ever known.
HANDLING SORROW AND GRIEF- The Process Of Receiving Healing And Freedom
The process of receiving God's healing and strengthening our emotions is often outworked over time, depending upon the individual and circumstances. Nevertheless, the process is an exchange, between God and Man.
Jesus Christ Carried Mankind's Sorrows On The Cross
(Isaiah 53:4-5)
Surely He has borne our griefs And carried our sorrows; Yet we esteemed Him stricken, Smitten by God, and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed.
When we come to God in prayer, we must ask Him to help us to give our sorrow and grief to Him (as we are experiencing it), and then receive His peace and comfort by faith, in an exchange.
As we give God our sorrow, His Holy Spirit ministers to us and imparts to us His peace.
God freely gives His Holy Spirit, to all who come to Him asking, that we may share in His peace and comfort, even amid difficult circumstances. As men and fathers, and those who are responsible for raising sons and daughters, we must take the time we need to allow the healing process within our hearts.
May God's peace be with you.
God Bless
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