After considering the type of simplified advice I would offer to a young father who had limited time to listen, I came up with what I believe are 3 things that are absolutely crucial for anyone wanting to build a family that can survive the test of time. If you as a father do these 3 things well you will have a great chance to be the best husband and father you can be in life and enjoy the rewards of having a loving family. (Part 2 of 3)
The 3 C's of Fathering are:
Consistency
Caring
Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.
(1 Corinthians 15:58)
This wonderful promise from the Bible reveals the importance of becoming steadfast and consistent in our character. This scripture ensures us that if we stick to the plan and are consistent that eventually all of our hard work will pay off. Our labor will not be in vain!
As a husband and father our greatest opportunity to make a real difference in the world is to invest the very best of our self into the lives of those within our own family. Loving and serving our family throughout life is a true reflection of our Heavenly Father's heart.
If you want to change the world, go home and love your family. -Mother Teresa.
Consistency- Being Reliable and Constant
Definition of Consistency
Consistency: (BEING THE SAME)
the quality of always behaving or performing in a similar way, or of always happening in a similar way: ( Cambridge English Dictionary)
*Consistency is important to the social, emotional and cognitive development of babies and young children. Regularity, predictability, routines, orderliness, and setting and enforcing limits contribute to a positive consistent environment.
Peace in the home is begun initially by setting behavioral boundaries and then ensuring that those boundaries are followed consistently.
A peaceful home is a wonderful experience and one that every family should experience, however it won't come without an effort and the co-operation of both parents.
Once the boundaries are agreed upon by both parents they need to be enforced consistently for them to become normal behavior within your family. Being reliable and constant in policing these boundaries helps them be accepted quicker within the family. It's no use letting the kids get away with something one day and then disciplining them for the same thing tomorrow. That type of inconsistency only brings confusion and robs the children of the sense of safety that consolidated boundaries bring.
When our kids know that they won't get away with bad behavior, it's amazing how peaceful our homes can become! Becoming reliable and constant in our fathering brings peace into our homes.
“Setting a goal is not the main thing. It is deciding how you will go about achieving it and staying with that plan.” — Tom Landry
God made Creation Consistent
God is reliable and constant, and placed that aspect of His character into Creation. Every day the sun comes up and goes down, twice a day the tides come in and go out. The 4 seasons of Summer, Autumn, Winter and Spring arrive every year, even if they may be experienced differently by us individually within our own nations.
The sun shines upon the vast oceans of the world, evaporates salt water, turns it into clouds which are blown by the wind over the land to drop the rain we need for crops and drinking water.
God designed a fully automated process which has continued unabated since Creation, revealing His loving care for all living things that He made.
Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God's handwriting.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
God Made Marriage and Family Life To Be Consistent
Marriage and family life are certainly not boring, but they are constant and therefore require consistency. We live in a world where instant gratification has become the expected norm, we order a meal through a drive thru and start getting upset if our food doesn't arrive at the precise moment we arrive at the window. We press our smart phones and complain if it takes longer than a few seconds to bring up whatever we are looking at.
Unfortunately we transpose that same impatience into our marriage and expect everything to be like those portrayed by Hollywood, where the wives are always beautiful 24 hours a day, the meal is always waiting when you arrive home from work hungry and the children are always well behaved and happy to see you whenever you see them.
The reality of family life is much messier, far louder and has many more ups and downs than I expected from reading the Hollywood brochure! In real life we don't often receive instantaneous gratification, if you want something worthwhile you have to work at it, especially when it comes to relationships.
Your marriage will take constant work if you are to prosper, and your children will take even more effort if you are to build the close and trusting bond required for wonderful life long relationships. Being reliable and constant in your marriage and fathering role strengthens the bonds of trust within the family.
Success isn't always about greatness. It's about consistency. Consistent hard work leads to success. Greatness will come - Dwayne Johnson
God's Consistency
(Hebrews 13:8) Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
God is reliable and constant and desires all men to follow His example. How encouraging it is to be able confidently to rely upon our Creator. That He will always be consistent with those things He has revealed about Himself in His Word. He doesn't say something one day then change His mind and do the opposite tomorrow! What He has spoken to us can be relied upon 100%, He is the same, Consistent, Reliable, Unchanging.
Some people seem to get a little confused when God reveals Himself both as a God of Love and a God of Judgment. They seem to think that because He is one that He can't also be the other, but they forget that we are made in His image and after His likeness and we certainly have more than one aspect in our personalities.
When my children were growing up I always wanted to be the kind, fun and loving father to
them, but very occasionally my children's behavior and disobedience required me to reveal another side of my character. We need to establish reasonable and very clear boundaries and take the time to explain their importance to our children, and the repercussions to themselves if they are not followed.
Sometimes my patience ran out and I needed to discipline them after their actions transgressed the boundaries that my wife and I had established as required behavior in our home.
God our Heavenly Father is like that, or more realistically it's we who are like Him. God always wants to be the Father who is kind, fun and loving to His children, but sometimes like us, His patience runs out and He must discipline His children. He prefers to be seen as a God of Love, but we must never forget that He is also a God of Judgment.
If a Father does not discipline His children when they are small, there is a very good chance that they will grow up to be selfish, uncontrolled and rebellious in later life, and the world already has far too many of those already. Discipline brings training, we as fathers must train our children to grow up respectful, responsible and caring in their attitudes toward their family and their fellow man.
(Hebrews 12:7-8) If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons
It's all to do with the training: you can do a lot if you're properly trained.
Queen Elizabeth II
Consistency Develops Character
(James 1:4) But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
I grew up in an era that was far different than what many young people experience now. There were no fast-food restaurants until I was a teenager, if we wanted a hamburger we would order it and go do some shopping and pick it up 10 mins later.
Most of the shops shut at 12 noon on Saturdays and didn't re-open until Monday morning, so if I didn't pick up the parts for my bike on time then I just had to wait. These day by day situations helped me and my generation develop a degree of patience and self control, because we just had to be patient and control the frustration that may have caused.
The good part about those days was that families had much more time together because very few people were required to work on the weekends. This helped consolidate and strengthen the family bonds of my generation and contributed to a far more respectful and caring society than the one that many of us live in now.
Having a long-term view about your marriage and family enables you to make wiser decisions and plans. Your family is a masterpiece that you and your wife jointly are creating , you must be patient, reliable and constant because it will not happen overnight. Your consistency in working together for something so precious, will bring you a life-time of joy.
(Galatians 5:22-23) But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law
Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
This is the second blog in the short series The 3C's of Fathering. Make sure you access the other parts of this series by clicking the links above
God Bless
John Nolan
DadsUni
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